How I got out of the “I Don’t Feel Like Going to Church No More” Mood
(Caption: Totally Made this Face More Than Once)
Now, I no expert but I do think it’s necessary to share life experiences. Sometimes we’re all silent about an issue that’s more than common than you think, so here it goes: I like going to church again. I mean, I really do. I put it in my calendar to show up in the sanctuary. THIS, is a personal miracle for me! There are things that happen now that I can laugh at hysterically that only about 2-3 months ago was no laughing matter but let’s start the story from the beginning:
MY YESTERDAY: It’s all foundational, really.
I’m not sure what happened, how it happened or why it happened but I was all churched out (LOL, sounding like Erica Campbell in “Help”. Even though we’re all Christians, we all have different experiences, natures and ways. I’m like that bad child in school. I’m not bad because I want to be bad, I’m bad because I’m not being engaged. In order for me to behave, you gotta give me something to do. As a child, I hated church. They use to put us in this room, give us a sip of orange juice (which I hate till this day), 2 gram crackers as we sang the same the same bible songs over and over again-insanity. It’s no wonder I would sneak out of Sunday school, with 2 or 3 of my friends, bob & weave through traffic to the grocery store across street and be back in my seat before the teacher could even blink. You know what made the behavior stop? Responsibility. I was given things to do. They moved me up (Yes, they can also move you up in “Church-School”) and engaged me on a different level that required me abandon my passive behavior and think. It was a huge adjustment. When I realize that I actually had to put in work and the days of sitting down and doing nothing was over, I was like *Kevin Hart Voice* “I wasn’t ready”. When questioned about scriptures, my answers were blank stares. I didn’t know to back up my opinion with scriptural evidence. I was being processed and didn’t like one bit of it. So, I had an attitude and a posture that said You-better-not-ask-me-no-questions-you-stupid-Sunday-School-Teacher. LOL. Eventually, I became engaged but not before my attitude almost ruined my level.
MY TODAY: My adult life.
I admit: I reverted back to that bad attitude, smart mouthed (when she actually spoke) little girl; except my attention span was much shorter and so was my fuse. There’s nothing worse than someone in church with a bad attitude LOL. It’s like stay home and live stream to allow these other good Christian people to enjoy God in His sanctuary. I did just that. Even my blogging slowed down. I don’t prefer hypocrisy. I like to speak from a place of honesty. Not my honesty but the honesty of Christ in me. I was pissed off with my career, my unfulfilled expectations and the pace at which I was moving. I’m goal oriented, I like to knock things out and move on. But you know what I found out about life? It’s a lot like this game I just downloaded on my iPhone (It’s like a knock off Mario game). I was killing levels 1-10 until I got to level 11 and I realized my old tactics were no longer effective.-Yikes. Not every fight will begin and end with one knockout. We as Christians like to think that but who lied and told you that boo? You might not get a knockout with your first hit. You might need to run up on the enemy real quick, aim for the temple for the enemy to black out; hit his throat to block his air passage, high kick him in his cootie-pootie to stop him from reproducing ciaos in your life and strike his mouth to stop him from speaking. It’s called a fight and there are many rounds in this thing called life. If you’re a Christian, times it by 3 LOL!
But before I could tackle life, I had to settle an issue “Where is this coming from?” Time and chance happens to all but my reaction to the season I was in, seemed all too familiar. Without even thinking, I reverted back to a behavior I forgot about “Chucking the deuces”. You get on my first nerve, I won’t let you pluck my last one because it will be no Bueno for you. But church was good practice for me. How you gonna go off in church? I mean like really? It’s like two patients going at it in the waiting room. We all have problems, then you want to bring more drama on top of present issues-come on, not at church.
At the end of the day, come hell & high water at my core I love loyalty, long for it, so there I give it. God has always been there, is here and will continue to be there for us. Love don’t feel good every day! You also don’t always like the people you love! (Come on somebody!). God did nothing to me. The real issue was process. Church was putting me through a process. I caught an attitude because something that was going to make me a better person was not feeling good. I had to adjust. I had to head back to the locker room and go over the game plan.
MY TOMORROW: Getting a better game plan.
So now my attitude is no Bueno. In all my spirituality, I had NO idea what God doing my life. It caused panic, ciaos, pandemonium (I’m SO dramatic LOL) but mostly uncertainty. Either way, I had to make a conscious decision to push myself off the wall and create an effort to trust Him. But have you ever been in a place where you’re acting like you don’t need to get your life together? LOL. That’s where I was at. These are some of things I did I found helpful in “pushing myself off the wall”:
- If you’re in a funky mood but your genuinely a good person (LOL, please evaluate yourself)-listen to others who inspire you. “Iron sharpens Iron, so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend”-Proverbs 27:17. If you’re not a hater, their good news will encourage you. Their testimony, will make you reconsider have you walked away at the brink of a breakthrough. You’ll start tapping your feet to their song. You can partake in what God is doing in their life by simply supporting. Try it, it’s scriptural and it works.
- Recall all God had done for you. Real worship begins in the heart. If you begin to recall, the Spirit of God will stir you up. “I will remember the LORD’s works; yes, I will remember Your ancient wonders”-Psalm 77:11
- What are some of things you did that brought you into high times with God and what are some of things you did that lead you into low times in God? Either way, ask God to “Keep you as the apple of his eye; hide you in the shadow of his wings”-Psalm 17:8. Being “kept” is continuous; it needs to take place on an ongoing basis. Good times, bad times and ugly times. This is a key David often used and mentions it in 2 Samuel 24:14 “”This is a desperate situation!” David replied to Gad. “But let us fall into the hands of the LORD, for his mercy is great. Do not let me fall into human hands.”
- Come back into the sanctuary. Isolation is probably one of the top 10 things that the enemy uses to pull trigger, study history, it’s a repetitive enemy tactic. Yes, people will say “Oh, I haven’t seen you in a long time” etc. Ignore, turn the page, God is faithful and push forward.
- Fast-This feeling is a behavior and requires you to shift realms. This was really the turning point for me.
- Mentally block out things that will further irritate you (I think you got that in number 4)-This is hard-I KNOW hehe
Welp. It’s a new day. God is doing new things. Take heart. The best it yet to come. XOXO