Dear Jesus, I’ve Been Duped!

20140320-203834.jpg“Nevertheless I tell you the truth: It is expedient for you that I go away; for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I go, I will send him unto you.” John 16:7

I’m sure by now you have gathered: rejection is not my cup of tea. I mean, who says “Hi, I would like to be rejected today”-Says no one, ever. It’s inevitable and part of life but it never feels good. Let me paint the picture:

I had this guy I really liked it. Did he have potential? Yes. Did he have capacity? Maybe.  Was he fine? 7.8, that’ll do. I was told I could do better but I kept thinking “I can work with this”. He was a genuinely good guy or so I thought… There were some red flags. My spiritual radar kept saying “Something ain’t clean in the milk. Stories ain’t quite adding up…”. But I was determined to let time reveal. Moral of the story: I don’t think he liked me, the way I liked him. You treat your friends better than this. Things were always up the air. Constant uncertainty. Until he one day, he made a move that let me know “Girl, he’s just not that in to you”. Welp. At first, I was unbothered by his actions because after all, I was Madame President. Head Dundada.  Do you NOT have eyes to see? I’m the best choice. Don’t know? Ask somebody. She *pointing to myself* be winning! LOL.

Then, it crept in. That sting of rejection. I thought I got rid of her.  The questions began to fire off back to back “What’s was wrong me? Why didn’t he choose…me? Was it something I said? Something I was wore? Was I boring?” All the uncertainty I felt during that “situationship” I felt all at once. So, heartbrokenly (well, not really heartbroken but I did get punched in my little heart), I called my support system. The first thing my mommy said “There’s nothing wrong with you”. She already knew. God bless her heart. Now, my brother, that’s a different story. He had some choice words for ol’ dude.

After a few days of compilation, trying to gather my thoughts, building courage, releasing fire prayers, shoving down scriptures and shouting back at the whisperings in my own head; I heard the whisper of the Holy Spirit:

 “Sometimes it’s good to be replaced because when things go awry, your replacement can attest to how much of a blessing you were”.

This quote can work both ways. If the person after you is more of a blessing:

When someone has been in one bad relationship after another and is finally in a good one; they’re shocked to know that all this time, they could’ve experience better. As horrible of a death Christ suffered for us, we would’ve never known the magnitude of His love for us without that statement of enduring the cross. More importantly, we would have not been able to experience the comforting nature of Christ. Although God is omnipresent, at the time Jesus walked on the earth, Jesus couldn’t be everywhere at one time. Jesus needed to exercise, eat, turn water into wine, take naps and more. Even Christ said, “Listen here, I gotta go. The Holy Spirit has to be come, so that all can be privy to relationship with me.” We are ALL calling on Jesus at the SAME time. It is more beneficial to every child of God to have this type of access to Christ via the Holy Spirit.

If the person after you is dooms day on wheels:

Your presence will be missed. They don’t have to say it but oh, they’re gonna feel it. Remember, there is no one who is exactly like you. Even twins, despite their undeniable resemblance are still not the same person. Someone can try to walk like you. Talk like you. Wear the same clothes. Get their hair done at the same place you do. Bottom line: They ain’t you boo!

Sometimes, you get so scared of the possibility of rejection that you pour yourself out in percentages because you’re trying to protect yourself. But you never gain more without giving up more. The more I give, the more I’m blessed. The more creative juices I let flow, the more creative I become. The harder I chase after a vision, the more vivid my dreams become. How do you know you care for someone deeply? The day they act crazy and you don’t immediately sack them out of your life, over the river, through the woods and back to their mother’s house they go. Your capacity has increased. The bigger the hole in your heart, the more love can flow out. What the enemy meant for evil, God can turn it around for our good.

Let’s continue this path together, XOXO


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