It’s terrible when you’re busy using up what’s SUPPOSE to be your prayer and devotion time to run off at the mouth. I’ve been talking (more like complaining) to God about a particular area in my life and you know what He did? Didn’t say a word. Of course, naturally it sent me into a dramatic rampage and a complete boycott of church services….YES, moi. Super-duper-You-ain’t-going-to-church-today-that’s-triflin-Tasha. Please don’t know body call-text-facebook-skype me unless you want a piece of this. I just could NOT understand why Jesus was not fixing this until I heard a quite small voice at 6:00am this morning “You asked for this”. Dead silence (that’s a first for me). I had to really think? Is this current situation I’m in because I asked for this?! Well I’ll be. I DID ask for this!!! I was astonished by God’s four letter response. He had to bring it back to my memory that I asked for this door. I asked for this opportunity. I asked for certain things be rearranged and guess what He did? He did it….for me. I pulled a Luke 18(the parable of the crazy lady and the judge, knocking on his door in the middle of the night like she was crazy-read it) LORD, have mercy! To be honest, when I walked through the door; I was uncertain. It didn’t make sense, what does THIS *pointing all around* have to do with my destiny? For those who know my well, I HATE wasting time. Time is one thing you can NEVER, ever, EVER get back. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. I hate for people to say “I’ll make up the time”…uhh, you can’t replace it or get it back. It’s gone, bye boo. I was upset because I felt as though I wasted my time. I wasted a portion of my delightful 20’s that I can’t get back. You know what I’ve learned from this? Two things:
- God might show you the end of the thing but not the process. Find out the reason for your existence. Your assignment and how you should go about while on your on this earth. I don’t care how long it takes. It will save you a whole a lot of time & trouble!
- We ask for things and don’t know what we’re asking for. Wrong passions can lead to wrong purpose. If we have the wrong appetites, we will ask for the WRONG things.
Needless to say: God pulled a checkmate. The move was so brisk, so fast, I didn’t see it coming. Now, I have a bunch of fallen pieces across the board.
Today, I ask for forgiveness. Jesus, I did NOT know what I was thinking asking for this?! But I know when Christ died for me…He saw this error. He knew I would make a mistake. He knew I would end up in some foolishness, but He died for my anyways. I ask for grace to finish out this current assignment and mercy. It’s only mercy that will bring me back to the place where I belong. Let mercy step in! Not because I deserve it because I don’t want what I do to embarrass God.
A lesson to learn before this year ends.